Portrait of Two Decades Past

He is tall.

He thinks a great deal about many things.

He is constantly evaluating whether or not he has reached the limits of his capabilities, physically and mentally.

He is married. He wonders whether or not he would have achieved many other things as a single person, but would not risk the happiness he has had with his mate for any other unknown version of his life.

He has read Kafka. He wants to read books that will teach him more about the products he “hawks” in his profession, but can barely force himself to do so. He regularly reads the sports and funny papers — the favorite is about a little boy and his stuffed tiger.

He is young but going through a mid-life crisis. Before age seven, he made a deal with God allowing him to live a fruitful life until the ripe old age of 30. The bargain was struck in trade for remission of severe pains he sometimes had. Like scissors cutting through his intestines, the pains were the early signs of an appendix that finally demanded its removal a few years later on a trip to visit the grandparents.

He believes in God. He is unsure about God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He believes in the Christ – in Jesus. He cannot comprehend the Holy Ghost and doesn’t really “buy it.”

He believes in God, but his belief is a personal one that is difficult to explain. “Does that make it less firm?” he wonders. Or is his belief more realistic: a belief that God is the “natural law” of economics.  That God is the force of nature that created the first DNA molecules, proteins, amino acids, chromosomes, and guided the development of life from the first single-cell creatures to present-day man to whatever may lie in the future.

That God is goodness in people – courage, charity, love, strength, humility, honesty, commitment, responsibility, faith.